In 1995 a bestselling book proposed a simple dating strategy for women: Get thin, wear bright colors and become a completely different person for the rest of your life. <a href='https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod'>Support us on Patreon</a>: <a href='https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod'>https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod</a>Where to find us: <ul><li><a href='https://twitter.com/IfBooksPod'>Twitter</a></li><li><a href='https://www.fivefourpod.com/'>Peter's other podcast, 5-4</a></li><li><a href='https://www.maintenancephase.com/'>Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase</a></li></ul>Sources:<ul><li><a href='https://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title/1626/front-porch-back-seat'>From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/14/style/the-rules-book.html'>Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s essay, “Stuff Your ‘Rules’”</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00497878.2000.9979317?journalCode=gwst20'>The More Things Change: The Rules And Late Eighteenth‐Century Conduct Books For Women</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.jstor.org/stable/3789817'>Shrinking Violets and Caspar Milquetoasts: Shyness and Heterosexuality from the Roles of the Fifties to "The Rules" of the Nineties</a> </li><li><a href='https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12119-020-09743-3'>From Mountain Peak to Total Woman: An Evolutionary History of Pre-feminist Dating Advice</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.ucpress.edu/book/9780520298699/the-mating-game#:~:text=Through%20interviews%20with%20heterosexual%20and,with%20competing%20messages%20about%20gender%2C'>The Mating Game: How Gender Still Shapes How We Date by Ellen Lamont</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.nytimes.com/1996/10/23/garden/so-many-rules-so-little-time.html'>So Many Rules, So Little Time</a> </li><li><a href='https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0959353503013002007?journalCode=fapa'>Abiding by The Rules: Instructing Women in Relationships</a> </li><li><a href='https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19558447/'>What leads to romantic attraction: similarity, reciprocity, security, or beauty? Evidence from a speed-dating study</a> </li><li><a href='http://www.elainehatfield.com/uploads/3/4/5/2/34523593/38._hatfield_walster_piliavin__schmidt_1973.pdf'>"Playing Hard To Get": Understanding An Elusive Phenomenon</a> </li><li><a href='https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/019251398019004005?journalCode=jfia'>Egalitarian Daters, Traditionalist Dates</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.science.org/doi/full/10.1126/sciadv.aap9815'>Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets</a> </li><li><a href='https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.1908630116'>Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting</a> </li><li><a href='https://web.archive.org/web/20081109093956/http:/www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,985233-1,00.html'>Playing Hard To Get</a> </li></ul> Thanks to <a href='https://mindseye-music.bandcamp.com/track/the-place-beyond-the-clouds-2'>Mindseye</a> for our theme song!

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