New York Times Opinion columnist David Brooks shares how to communicate so that others feel seen, heard, and understood.All too often, we communicate without really connecting. The key to building deep connections with others, says David Brooks, is to make them feel seen and heard.<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/column/david-brooks" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Brooks</a> is a writer for the New York Times, the Atlantic, and the best-selling author of several books. In his latest, <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/652822/how-to-know-a-person-by-david-brooks/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen</a>, he explores how vulnerability — both being vulnerable ourselves and creating space for others to be as well — is the key to fostering deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives. “[People] need to be seen, heard, and understood,” he says. “If you hide yourself from the emotional intimacies of life, you're hiding yourself from life itself.”In this episode of <a href="https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/business-podcasts/think-fast-talk-smart-podcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Think Fast, Talk Smart</a>, Brooks and host <a href="https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/faculty-research/faculty/matt-forrest-abrahams" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Matt Abrahams</a> discuss the fundamentals of communicating with vulnerability and empathy, outlining the skills that anyone can learn and use to connect more deeply in their relationships.Episode Reference Links:<ul><li><a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/3375/david-brooks/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Full list of David Brooks books</a></li><li><a href="https://eji.org/bryan-stevenson/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Bryan Stevenson</a></li><li><a href="https://www.orwellfoundation.com/the-orwell-foundation/orwell/biography/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">George Orwell</a></li><li><a href="https://www.cslewis.org/resource/cslewis/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">C.S. Lewis </a></li><li>Oprah Winfrey <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oRtyTJMk6tUVeAlEF2Uow/videos" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Video</a></li><li>Ep 64, Carissa Carter: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5S5X2GZOLA" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/courage-belonging-ambiguity-data-how-design-your-communication-success" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Website</a></li><li>Ep 101, Geoffrey Cohen: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qYp-7raays" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/we-belong-together-how-communication-fuels-connection-community" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Website</a></li></ul>Connect:<ul><li>Email Questions & Feedback&nbsp;>>> thinkfast@stanford.edu</li><li>Episode Transcripts&nbsp;>>><a href="https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/business-podcasts/think-fast-talk-smart-podcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;Think Fast Talk Smart Website</a></li><li>Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning&nbsp;>>><a href="http://fastersmarter.io/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;FasterSmarter.io</a></li><li>Think Fast Talk Smart&nbsp;>>><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/showcase/77761391/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;LinkedIn Page</a>,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thinkfasttalksmart/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;Instagram</a>,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxq_lXOUlvQDgCVFj9L79kqJybW0k6OaB" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">YouTube</a></li><li>Matt Abrahams&nbsp;>>><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/maabrahams/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;LinkedIn</a></li><li>Stanford GSB&nbsp;>>><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/school/stanford-graduate-school-of-business/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;LinkedIn</a>&nbsp;&<a href="https://twitter.com/stanfordgsb" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">&nbsp;Twitter</a></li></ul>Chapters:(00:00:00) Introduction(00:01:26) Personal MotivationDavid Brooks shares insights into his journey and the motivation behind his latest book.(00:04:01) Barriers to ConnectionCommon barriers to connection including egotism, anxiety, worldview, and lack of questioning.(00:04:43) The Stages of EmpathyDavid Brooks breaks down empathy into components such as mirroring, mentalizing, and caring, and recognizing your own emotion(00:07:40) Keys to Meaningful ConversationAttention as an on-off switch, loud listening, avoiding topping responses, embracing pauses, and making people authors(00:11:22) Understanding Illuminators and DiminishersIlluminators are those who make you feel seen and valued through curiosity and active listening and suggestions and suggestions on how to be a better illuminator and conversationalist.(00:14:01) How to Be a Better Public SpeakerThe importance of vulnerability, humor, and storytelling.&nbsp;(00:16:25) Paradigmatic vs. Narrative Modes of ThinkingJerome Bruner's concept of paradigmatic for writing and convincing, Narrative mode for understanding a fellow human being.&nbsp;(00:18:02) David Brooks' JourneyBecoming a journalist, inspired by childhood reading and early experiences as a police reporter & admiration for Oprah Winfrey as an admirable listener.(00:19:52) Ingredients for Successful CommunicationDavid Brooks outlines his three essential ingredients for effective communication: depth of passion, vulnerability, and clarity.&nbsp;(00:22:27) ClosingSee Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

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129. Connect Deeply: How to Communicate So People Feel Seen and Heard

Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques